


Drinks and Pickup Lines

by orphan_account



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Bad Pickup Lines, Baz is the best, Crack, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, I dont acually take his name, M/M, Simon getting over aggy, Simon is bi and thats established, im sorry, im sorry micah i love u, it's so awkward, pen and micah are only mentioned, this is my first fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-30 10:28:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12106740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: It’s all Penny’s fault, if she had just let me stay in the flat sulking over Agatha, I would never be here. Penny doesn’t get that snacking on cherry scones and tea is a perfectly good “I’m moving on activity (or at least trying.)”, so she decided to drag me out here, to this stupid club, with all these stupid people, stupid music and a stupid lack of cherry scones.





	Drinks and Pickup Lines

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really sorry this is just my first work ever on ao3 and in general!!
> 
> I hope you like it!

This is not how it’s supposed to be. Not at all.

It’s all Penny’s fault, if she had just let me stay in the flat sulking over Agatha, I would never be here. Penny doesn’t get that snacking on cherry scones and tea is a perfectly good “I’m moving on activity (or at least trying.)”, so she decided to drag me out here, to this stupid club, with all these stupid people, stupid music and a stupid lack of cherry scones. 

Not only that but now she’s run off with some stupid guy with a stupid American accent. Jeez, there is no way this night could get worse, at least that’s what I thought 5 minutes ago before a creepy dude walked up to the bar and started hitting on me. I honestly just want to go home right now.

I look around the room helplessly, attempting to find someone who can help, there are not many people who aren’t doing much, most of the crowd are on the dance floor (which I am actively avoiding, you don’t expect me to bathe in a sea of sweat). 

There’s one awkward looking kid in the corner sipping on his beer, probably underage but I can’t be bothered to tell the bartender. There’s also that one couple that’s making out really, and I mean really intensely a few feet away from the dance floor, Crowley they need to get a room. My last hope seems to be the dude with an impeccable widow’s peak, black button up, pale skin and fucking gorgeous jeans, but he’s a lost cause, looks like he wants to kill someone, I’d be blessed if it was me, with his lips preferably (NOT THE TIME SIMON!). 

“Your lips look so lonely...would they like to meet mine?” I heard a deep voice say which snapped me back into reality, I looked up at the creepy dude “Um-” “You dropped something!” another voice cut in. “What?” I replied, “You standards love,” said widow peak boy pointing at the floor and dragged me off before I actually registered what happened. 

“You can thank me now,” widow peak said. “What in the world? What for? Who even are you?” “Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch, but you can call me Baz” ‘Baz’ good lord his name is almost as hot as he is. “Well, Baz I don’t think I am the best at thank yous but I could give you a little present,” I said with the most confident voice I could pull off while staring at an angelic creature. “And what may tha-” “SIMON!” a voice yelled before Baz had a chance to finish. 

“That’s my calling but here-” I quickly scribbled my number on a napkin and ran off.

Xxx-xxx-xxxx

Simon Snow 

“Snow.” was the last thing I heard before Penny dragged me away.  
Well after this crazy night I have come to the conclusion that the club is still stupid, so are the people, the music definitely still is, and so is the lack of cherry scones. But maybe it wasn’t all bad.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Please leave comments and criticism, all are highly appreciated!!!


End file.
